delve a little deeper into the word sustain...
I wanted to delve a little deeper into the word sustain. If you have not yet read my post entitled I Am a Widow, you can read HERE first for a little background on what led me to this word, “sustain”.
Sustain:
1. Strengthen or support physically or mentally
2. To give support or relief to
3. To Bear up under
Maybe all y'all will get tired of hearing about my dental issues, but hang in there, it is relevant! I spent part of my afternoon recently at the oral surgeon. I was nervous, of course, so I used some of my essential oils for anxiety and I forged forward. I had chosen to not receive laughing gas. Mostly because who knows what would pass through my brain’s caution lights and make it out through my mouth! So, I prepared ahead of time to have the right oils on and my playlist on my phone all set to go. I prayed practically the whole time...which is what gave me the most peace since I could barely hear my music over all the pulling and drilling. Both the surgeon and the dental assistant were very kind to me. The assistant was kind enough to rub my arm in comfort while I was being numbed with the huge needles. Huge as in, about the size of the spire on the top of the Chrysler building in New York. The surgeon started and the first tooth was easy to get out. There was one point when he had to really pull at the second tooth. I had tears from all the emotions gently streaming down my face. All I could think about was how much I wished that Ed was there in the room so I could reach for his hand to comfort me. At the same time, I wanted to grab the assistant and hold her hand...but clearly she was busy. My mind kept searching for Ed. And then the word “sustain” resurfaced in my mind and I was immediately drawn to Jesus. I just kept saying His name. He held onto me and I felt His closeness carrying me through to the end till I heard the words of the surgeon, “Alright...we are done. You did great.”
Words and dignity were fully intact when I strolled out of the office.
Sustain.
“The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.” Psalm 146:9 NIV
How do we sustain? Let’s look at Luke 1: 1-8
“Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not become discouraged, saying, “In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect any person. Now there was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him saying, ‘Give me justice against my opponent.’ For a while he was unwilling; but later he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect any person, yet because this widow is bothering me, I will give her justice; otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unrighteous judge said; now, will God not bring about justice for His elect who cry out to Him day and night, and will He delay long for them? I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”
The main and historical reference here in this parable is clearly for the church and the pain caused by the absence of the Lord and the desire for deliverance. Continual and constant prayer in hopes of Christ’s coming to deliver the church is something worth knocking on the door relentlessly. I am drawn to the comparison of a widow here. Especially in the earlier days of our loss. The lonesome, bare, empty, distressed, and desperate days that most of us have found ourselves in now. The days where we plead for justice!
What stands out here to me is the action Jesus calls us to and the action of the persistent widow.
Persistent:
Continuing firmly or obstinately in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.
AT ALL TIMES...
1. Pray!
I don’t know about you...but that gives me chills. Seriously! I have spent many hours in prayer...and yet, not enough time. At all. It is regrettable. I have likely spent more time on social media than I have on my knees. But that is a discussion for another day.
In the NASB we can reference the word “pray” and its variants mentioned are at an astonishing number of 352 times. (Bible Gateway) That is almost one for every day of the year! The number alone, at 352 times... shows the emphasis and priority of prayer. Jesus modeled it to us in Matthew 6: 9-13. From Genesis to Revelation. Abraham to Habakkuk. Jesus to the saints. Pray. Pray. Pray.
I am reminded of one of my heroes. My mama. She was a prayer warrior. Our prayer warrior. That woman got up every morning right around 4:30. Mind blown...I am happily snoozing at that point. But now that I mention that...there have been many, many times that God has woke me up right around that time. I usually go back to sleep...but that is interesting to think about. Anyway, she didn’t have to be at work until 7...and she worked 10 minutes away from her home. She wasn’t on social media... she wasn’t applying make-up, or doing chores. She was sitting at her table. Her Bible open and her heart bowed with her long list of prayers. Every. Day. Three hundred and sixty-five of them. Year after year. At all times.
Jesus has been good to me through it all. He has always seen me... heard me... and waited for me to be so persistent. I love that Holy Spirit comes to me anyway. In my weakness... and there has been a plethora of that throughout my years, especially during these sustaining widow times. When I feel like faltering, He is just there. And he says, “Not on my watch.” And, well...El Roi... He sees me.
AT ALL TIMES...
2. Don’t be discouraged...Don’t lose heart...Don’t give up!
Jesus calls us to pray. But what else? He tells us to not become discouraged...don’t lose heart and (for the love of Me), do not give up! (NASB, ESV, NIV)
I cannot count how many times I have wanted to give up in the last almost 2 years. So many. There are the subtle ones and there are the more blatant times. I remember sitting alone one evening, by the lake, at my daughters house. The air was cool as the moon shimmered off the lake. I thought how “easy” it would be to just walk into the lake...to not come back. Give up. No more persistence. No more relentless days of grief. For me. But I would have caused more grief within my family. God would also grieve. I sat in my chair and my eyes were drawn to the moon...to the Maker of the moon and knew that He knew me (Jeremiah 1:5), and I knew that He was renewing me and that was not a part of His purpose. I was discouraged. I was losing heart. But, I did not give up. I talked to Him as I sat there... persistently praying. Oh the need of relief was still there, but hope of deliverance lingered in the night air.
This is from my journal that night...
”...surrounded by many - I feel completely alone.
The moonlit lake sits to my right and I wonder why I was left behind. It does not seem right. I feel so lost without you. I don’t want to live without you. It is hard. Too hard. It is exhausting.
I think today, I got a little angry at God for taking you away. We needed you. I needed you. I want you here. How could God do this to me? How? Today I feel like I do not have a future. Or a hope. It looks so bleak and ruined and scary without you. Why do I have to be left to do this life without you? I hate it.
Life isn’t fair...I know this.
But.
Life just isn’t fair.”
I have to pause here and tell you that if you are feeling so desperate that you want your life to end, it would be a good idea to search for a counselor. I cannot say enough good about my counselor. There is no shame in getting counseling. Jesus was a counselor when he walked this earth. He still counsels us but sometimes He uses a physical tool to minister and heal us...and we should not hesitate to reach out to a counselor...or a good friend. My friends have helped me navigate through some things too. Your local hospice has counselors available to help...and they are wonderful! Another resource is Focus on the Family. Lastly, if you feel beyond that desperate point or feel like you have no one else...than you should call or text the Suicide hotline at 988. Remember...you are not alone. I have had those thoughts. The CDC reports that in 2020, 12.2 million adults seriously thought about suicide. 3.2 million made a plan... and 1.2 million attempted suicide. So no, my friend, you are not alone. Not ever.
by Kari Jobe
”...Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not desert you nor abandon you.” Joshua 1:5
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you, I will also uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10
I did confide this in my counselor. We definitely talked it through. I knew while I had those thoughts enter my mind, I would never follow through...but I was in a terrible, desperate state of loneliness. We have worked through many different layers of my grief. I can honestly say that I am so very grateful for her intervention in my life and I am grateful that while I still occasionally notice the enemy throwing those thoughts at me...I know that I can tell her, and even more so... trust in Jesus to not leave my side. To trust He has a purpose for me... that my time here is not done.
I will not give up.
Join me.
Join Moses.
Join Gideon.
Join Naomi.
Join the shepherd.
Join Mary.
Join Paul.
Join Jesus.
Join us in not giving up.
“Will He find faith on the earth?”
After Jesus set the precedence in the verse, he led into the parable of the widow’s persistence. This woman was relentless.
Fearless
Steadfast
Courageous
Bold
Valiant
Determined
She would not give up! She sustained and held strong to her request. Day and night she kept coming. I dream of such tenacity! She walked with resolute faith. Her eyes were set on the hope of justice from her judge. Do we do that? Do we, day and night demonstrate our faith and hope in our Judge? Our Elohim? Do we sustain and persist simultaneously? Endure and support? Remain and maintain? Continue and carry? We do have the ability to synchronously carry these out. Absolutely.
Timothy reiterates this parable:
"Now she who is actually a widow and has been left alone has set her hope on God, and she continues in requests and prayers night and day." I Timothy 5:5 NASB
Will I remain faithful?
There are many faithful men and women mentioned in the Bible. But they were not without imperfections. They ‘failed’ sometimes. Repeatedly. But every one of the faithful mentioned in Hebrews 11 kept putting one foot in front of the other. Each one persisted. They sustained with the strength of God all through their life. If I can’t be perfect...and I’m not... then that is the kind of person I want to be. I want to meet Jesus one day in His perfect timing for me, and feel His arms wrap me up and hear Him whisper in my ear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Mt. 25:23)
Will you remain faithful?
TrailBlazing:
“Don’t be discouraged” and “Don’t lose heart”.
Easier said than done. Would you take time to talk with Jesus about your heart rate right now? If you have these thoughts, what can you mend it with? Sometimes we just have to decide to take our, “I’m discouraged deep in my heart”, and turn it to, “I’m encouraged by Your strength in my heart… the heart that You hold.”
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