It's that time of the year again. The time when the menu is figured out and the big turkey is thawed out… soon to be fried in some yummy peanut oil. The time when we anxiously await the arrival of cherished family and sweet friends. The time when there is a crispness in the air and we brace ourselves for all that is to come. The good. The hard. And all the in-between stuff that can be found wrapped up in the packages of our hearts pushing to surface through our tears.
I have been thinking a lot about being grateful. While my head knows I am blessed in many ways, feeling blessed feels like a foreign concept to me on many days. It is something that I struggle with… especially since losing Ed. I think if we are all honest, after losing someone that we loved so vastly, feeling blessed is far off in the distant mist somewhere. Hiding. And we are left to try to find the blessing in the dense fog.
I have this navy blue and gold shirt that I love and all it says is “#blessed.” I bought it the year that Ed was healed from cancer… the operative word there is “was.” At the time I bought the shirt… unbeknownst to us, the cancer was underhandedly finding its way into his body again. I wore that shirt for one Thanksgiving while feeling truly blessed. I wore it a few more times after we heard the echo of the words, “The cancer has returned.” I was able to wear it because in my mind, I was still blessed… he was still here. Since Ed went to heaven… I have only been able to wear it a handful of times… not consistently. I see it in my closet and think about it, but there it stays. I have not worn it in over a year. So this year, I am trying to figure out if I can wear it a bit more. I truly would like to. I honestly feel more blessed now than I did 2 years ago… or even a year ago. I think I can do it!
That feeling of “blessed” isn’t wrapped up in Ed anymore, though. Oh don’t get me wrong, I truly am one of the most blessed women in this world. I had a wonderfully amazing and godly husband that treated me like a queen. He put his family before everything and God above that. He cared for each of us like no other. He carried the weight of our world on his shoulders… right up to the end. That blessed feeling I had has begun to transition though. Especially over the last year. A transition that places me at the feet of Jesus.
Give Thanks to the lord
I am part of a small Bible study on Monday nights. We have done several Bible studies; an overview of the Bible, Ruth, Lamentations, and Habakkuk (my personal favorite book!). One of my friends in the study decided we should adjust our focus to thankfulness for the month of November. So she put together 3 weeks of Scriptures on thankfulness so that we could do some inductive study into each of the verses. Sidenote… I love inductive study… but goodness… once I get started, it is hard to find a stopping point because one thing leads to the next… and then the next… and on and on. Before I know it, time has slipped through my fingers! This focus has been very good for me though. I just want to take a few moments and break a couple of the verses down with what I found or heard in my searching.
Our first verse was Psalm 136:1… NASB
“Give thanks to the Lord, [Jehovah, Adonai, Yahweh, God, Hashem, Eternal] for He is good, for His faithfulness is everlasting.”
This small nugget in the Psalms, is a thanks for the Lord’s goodness to Israel. If you read the entire chapter, you will notice that it has a liturgical sense to it. The last part, “For His faithfulness is everlasting” is repeated in every one of the twenty-six verses as the last line. The first lines are as follows…
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good,
Give thanks to the God of gods,
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
To Him who alone does great wonders,
To Him who made the heavens with skill,
To Him who spread out the earth above the waters,
To Him who made the great lights,
The sun to rule by day,
The moon and stars to rule by night,
To Him who struck the Egyptians, that is, their firstborn,
And brought Israel out from their midst,
With a strong hand and an outstretched arm,
To Him who divided the Red Sea in parts,
And allowed Israel to pass through the midst of it,
But He overthrew Pharaoh and his army in the Red Sea
To Him who led His people through the wilderness,
To Him who struck great kings,
And brought death to mighty kings,
Sihon, king of the Amorites,
And Og, king of Bashan,
And gave their land as an inheritance,
An inheritance to His servant, Israel,
Who remembered us in our lowliness,
And has rescued us from our enemies,
Who gives food to all flesh,
Give thanks to the God of heaven,
FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS IS EVERLASTING
I am in awe of these words… the remembrance! I could easily tack on my own words for myself…
Mona, Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.
To Him alone who has done great wonders in your healing
To Him alone who has made you to dance on the waves
To Him alone who has sent laughter into your soul
To Him alone who has sent the sun (Son) to calm and warm your heart and face,
To Him who has provided everything you need,
To Him who has led you out of the wilderness by still waters,
To Him who has helped you cross the scary swinging bridge,
To Him who has calmed every fear,
To Him who has never abandoned you,
To Him who has continually whispered in your ear,
To Him who has been and done so much more than your eyes can see,
For His faithfulness is everlasting.
I have so much to be thankful for… so much blessing… even in the midst of heartbreak and oh so much brokenness. Yesterday, I graduated to once-a-month counseling. Not because I had to. But because I was ready. God has indeed brought the blessing of healing to this weary soul. All in His perfect timing. In Jewish tradition, Psalm 136 has been called “The Great Hallel” or “Great Psalm of Praise.” This Great Psalm of Praise rings true from this heart of mine and I am grateful beyond measure.
He Is Good...
The fact that “He is good” is foundational to ALL that He is and does. He is love and His love is an expression of His goodness to me. In my opinion, Charles Spurgeon said it best…
“He is good beyond all others; indeed, He alone is good in the highest sense; He is the source of good, the good of all good, the sustainer of good, the perfecter of good, and the rewarder of good. For this He deserves the constant gratitude of His people.”
The Hebrew word for love in this verse is “Chesed” or “Hesed”. It is a faithful, unchanging, gracious, compassionate, and kind love. It is based on loyalty. A love based on who He is and not on my own merit or worthiness. A love that endures forever without fail. If His love goes on forever, then so should my praise. If His goodness never ceases then neither should my gratitude ever be silent. (Lamentations 3:22-24)
I absolutely LOVE how Michael Card (Musician) describes it…
“When the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything.”
Isn’t that just beautiful? I love it completely. So simply said and it hits my heart.
Intimate commands that bring blessing
Another favorite verse of mine that we worked through is, I Thessalonians 5:16-18 NASB
“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
I used to think, “How on earth can I possibly rejoice always? That is impossible!” How can I rejoice always, (perpetually…incessantly… evermore) while in the thick of my grief? What is there to rejoice about during such difficult times??? Hmmmm ………
Our salvation
Liberty in Christ
Harvest of souls
His power
His presence
His knowledge
Every aspect of His name
Hesed
Love & fellowship with believers
Godly conduct
Manifestations of grace
Goodness in the lives of others
His voice
Restoration
His Truth
His ultimate triumph
Holy Spirit's leading
Our hope
Plenty.
And then when I realize that “rejoicing always" is a part of His command… that tells me that He does indeed have the ability to enable me to accomplish rejoicing always. It is clearly pointed out at the end of those verses, as part one in this section of verses, that IS His will for us. Paul is in the middle of telling us about how our Christian conduct should be. He gives several instructions prior and after these verses. Rejoice means “to gladden” (Merriam-Webster) and “to feel or show delight.” (Oxford Dictionary) Rejoicing during difficult times has always felt like a stretch to me. I am a very real person… and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so if my heart isn’t feeling it… it isn’t gonna just show up. BUT through working on myself and my own character… I have come to see that the rest of the verses must follow or even be a prerequisite in order to be able to have that “gladdening” of heart!
No Intermissions Here!
The next verse (part 2) says, “pray without ceasing”. If I am constantly in prayer as I go through my day, my thoughts and heart will align with His good and perfect will for me. Unreservedly. Without ceasing means without ending, stopping or halting. The Greek language says, “Pray without intermission; without allowing prayerless gaps to intervene between the times of prayer.” Think about the last time you were at a concert or program where there was an intermission. For me, it was The Nutcracker. I would definitely prefer to have an intermission during an extended show… a break… to stretch my legs and maybe get some refreshment. But as I pray… prayer IS my refreshment and I should be standing in the gaps still praying! I know this is hard with our busy lives or even just our grief. But a simple “God help me” is a prayer. The most intimate prayer is a constant conversation with someone that loves me dearly… a hesed loyalty. It should be a continuous practice that is carried on without abandonment. Ephesians 6:18… “Praying at all times in the Spirit…” and... Hebrews 4:16 … “Approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need.”
I found this little gem on Bible Tools Web…
“ What makes us worthy through prayer is quality time spent with our Creator so that He changes us as we regularly come before Him. Through His relished contact, combined with plumbing the depths of His Word, we begin to think like Him, see things like Him, and live as He lives. By watching ourselves and praying, we compare ourselves with the true Standard and become aware of our spiritual needs.” (Emphasis mine)
I think the thing that God looks for the most in our continual praying is just that we bring a sincere and humble heart to Him. We offer it freely. We talk or whisper or even “think” it to Him silently. And then we listen for what He has to say whether we hear His whisper in our ears or we are “plumbing the depths of His Word,” I believe that is what a truly humble and moldable heart and life looks like to Him. In doing this, it can shape each moment of our life and interactions with others and how we experience life in the Spirit.
Everything?
Lastly, (part 3) “in everything give thanks.” That means EVERYTHING. That can be a hard pill to swallow. It certainly has been a very bumpy road of belief for me through the years. Again, how can I possibly give thanks for this new life without Ed? It used to seem unimaginable! But this is where my focus has to change from the earthly, temporal time that I am living in, to the heavenly, eternal time that I was made for. He has given promises in His Word that show me that I have every reason to be thankful in everything. Even through Ed’s death. I am thankful that God’s ultimate purpose has come to fruition. I am thankful that my hubby is in heaven, probably increasing his preparation within the army of God. I am thankful that the Trinity has cared for me like no other for such a time as this in a puddle of grief. I am thankful that I have humbled myself to Him and bent myself to His will so that He can live and move within me for His Kingdom.
And now I’ve come full circle. My rejoicing (feeling of joy) always will begin with my action of thankfulness. I never truly and fully understood this before. But through a posture of pure, teachable, humble worship for Elohim (Our Creator) these last few years, I can say after all is said and done… that everyday in the midst of this heart that still has sorrow lingering in the cracks and probably always will until His face I see… I am grateful and I am #blessed.
Adonai Eternal,
Your Word endures forever and lights our path. I know You are good beyond anything our entire being can search out good. Good IS fundamental to who You are. The list of Your goodness and faithfulness is an expression that never ceases. The word “infinite” pales in comparison to Hesed. Your mercy and love and goodness never cease and I ask right now that our strength be increased so our praise and gratefulness will never return silent to You. That we will always, for You, let our voice ring out for Your everlasting faithfulness. May our hearts always be the recipient of Your unchanging, gracious, merciful, steadfast love and covenant loyalty… let it be ever surrounding us. Help us remain surrendered to You and faithful to You in gratefulness all our days on this earth and through everlasting. Amen.
TRAILBLAZING
Take a listen to my new favorite song…
As you are thinking about the turkey and all the days to come in this entire season of thankfulness and expectancy… remember how blessed you truly are. The steadfast LOVE (HESED) of the Lord endures forever. When we use the Hebrew word, HESED, it allows for every ounce and ALL of the definition to be present: love - kindness- steadfast, faithful love - loyalty - favor - mercy - beauty - righteous - faithfulness - devotion- gracious covenant - grace - goodness - loving instruction - covenant friendship - covenant loyalty… and also, so we can declare that His HESED NEVER ENDS.
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